Getting Your Online Divorce May Not Be The Greatest Idea
It would be nice if everyone could agree when divorce was on the cards. But, in my experience, this is rarely the case. Often, one partner is pushing for the divorce while the other desperately wants to save the marriage. This was the case with myself and my partner. So I can tell you first hand that this is a horrible position to be in because you’re the odd man out, your heart is breaking, and you’re getting conflicting advice.
Your heart is telling you to fight for your marriage while your friends and your head, and your attorney are all telling you to protect both your assets and your heart. This article will not give legal advice regarding your online divorce. But because I have conducted loads of research when trying to change my husband’s mind about the divorce, my expertise is based on saving marriages when you are the only one who wants to, by controlling what you can right now - you.
Want To Do If You Want To Save Your Marriage:
Here’s the top marriage-saving tips that I have seen work many times. I realize that they may seem a little odd and they may feel weird to begin with. But, you need to understand that doing what may feel right at this time (cutting yourself off, engaging with your spouse, trying to make your spouse feel bad, manipulating them, etc.) only drives them further away and only speeds up the downward spiral you are on.
You Need To Be On Their Side:
Think about this for a minute. You want the divorce, but they don’t. You’re on different sides of the same fence. If he wins, you lose your marriage. If you win, you’ve managed to strong arm him into to doing what he didn’t want to do. So, even in the best case scenario, his heart isn’t really in it and the chances for long-term success are not as good as they might be.
It’s often better to jump on your partners side of the fence (or at least make them believe that you are). Doing this alleviates the tension and ensures that they begin to give you more access to them. You want to present yourself as someone who doesn’t want a divorce, but who wants their partner to be happy and who is willing to put your thoughts aside (at least for now) to help them achieve this. I know this may sound scary, but it’s actually the only plan that allows every one to get what they want, so that when the marriage is saved, you have the best chance of long term success.